Speeches by Jopp.

“I thank the Foreign Secretary for that answer. There is a rumour going round Whitehall that the Foreign Secretary is not the Foreign Secretary, and that the real Foreign Secretary is Mr Jonathan Powell. That could not possibly be the case, of course, because it would make a mockery of the ability to hold the Foreign Se…”

“I thank the hon. Member for bringing her personal experience as a police officer to this debate. I thank her for her service. These new catapults have awesome power, and could easily take out your eye, Sir Desmond, or indeed other hon. Members’ eyes, and cause life-changing injuries. In fact, in my time in the army, in…”

“I believe that the Green party is led by a hypnotist; it seems that the Government Benches have a mind reader, too, because the hon. Gentleman must have seen into the future and what I was about to say. My constituents write to me in numbers to express their distress at this scourge. Spelthorne borough council has resp…”

“Ah! Like Hercule Poirot!”

“Another mystery cleared up by Inspector Jopp; I wish I had been as successful on my drive-around with the Spelthorne police the other day. As well as my ask on reducing the minimum age at which protection notices can be served, I also want to put in a word for parental responsibility and alternative outlets for young p…”

“I am grateful to the Minister and conscious of time. Does she agree that, when people are concerned about intimidation and identification, they can ring Crimestoppers anonymously and report in that way?”

“I am very grateful to all the hon. Members who have attended this debate and the public officials who have recorded our deliberations. I heard from the Minister that there is broad consensus on the fact that there is a problem, and that early intervention is better than picking up the pieces. I have made my point about…”

“When did the Chancellor first brief her Cabinet colleagues on the realities of the OBR forecast?”

“I have just been checking my notes, and I think that the Minister may have inadvertently referred to you, Sir Desmond, as “Mr Swayne”. I thought it might be good to offer him the opportunity to correct the record, and show that he did not mean any disrespect to the Chair.”

“Will the Minister give way?”

“Will the Minister give way?”

“On 16 June I asked the Secretary of State what she understood to be the drivers behind the phenomenon of the exponential rise in the number of children with special educational needs. She replied: “My Department, and the Department of Health and Social Care, are keen to understand…the drivers”.—[Official Report, 16 Jun…”

“Sir Chair.”

“I have just been checking my notes, and I think that the Minister may have inadvertently referred to you, Sir Desmond, as “Mr Swayne”. I thought it might be good to offer him the opportunity to correct the record, and show that he did not mean any disrespect to the Chair.”

“Sir Chair.”

“I thank the Minister for coming to the Chamber to answer this urgent question. I have taken note of what she has said and, if I may, I will quote it back to her: “a swift and prompt trial is a fundamental ingredient of fairness”, a three to four year delay is “deeply demoralising”, and “justice delayed is justice denie…”

“For the record, why did the hon. Member vote against lifting the two-child benefit cap when the SNP proposed it earlier?”

“No one can doubt the hon. Member’s commitment to the people of Oldham. He is being very loyal to the Chancellor and her Budget. I have a simple question: if unemployment goes up in his constituency from today, before the local elections next year, will he resign?”

“Does the hon. Member acknowledge that whether parents get their money from income or from benefits, the Government, having inherited 2% inflation, have taken it up to 3.6%, which reduces the value of that pound in parents’ pockets?”

“You’re in charge.”